Chasing Rainbows

I want to say something potent, I want to say something real.  I want to speak some great truth.  But I know there is nothing original about the way I am feeling.

When I dream it is so vivid and full of emotion, but at times in my waking life I have become P.I. to my own emotional state and circumstance.  Trying to figure it all out, and just like the next person trying to make the right move, or more so, sometimes, trying not to make the wrong one!  Trying to feel what I feel, without judgement or censoring from my own mind.

I haven't written my thoughts and adventures here for so long, I wasn't even sure I was going to.  So I really haven't kept you up-to-date, on my journey 'chasing rainbows'- and so, so much has happened in these months...

Firstly at some point along the way I decided that the name of this blog is misleading as it implies that I am chasing rainbows which are not tangible.  My dreams which is that which I have been chasing certainly are!

I have titled these words 'Catching Rainbows' as this year I really have felt myself achieving my goals and living my dreams- and then some!  And I have been SO happy doing so.  A pressing question whilst living 'this life' tho is- "is this real???"  Allot of people here don't believe it is and that when you leave this confined existence that becomes your true home and all you know, it all just crumbles around you and you are left with skills not required to cope in the 'real' world.  It has become apparent to me that this world is most certainly real.  Maybe more real than anything anyone living 'out there', in a community on land, has ever been lucky enough to experience.

Reality doesn't get any more vivid than some of the moments we experience here.  "This" is what life and living are about.  It is not up to me, or you, to change the world.  But to experience it.  Make it a lil better maybe.  Not make it any worse, definitely.  Make it a lil easier and allot brighter, I can only hope to.

I'm not really sure where I want to go with all of this it was just time to share.

Here are some lyrics from one of our shows here, that ring so true to me no matter how often I hear them.  And I hear them minimally twice a night twice a week! 

When I think of home

I think of a place where there's love overflowing

I wish I was home

I wish I was back there with the things I been knowing

Wind that makes the tall trees bend into leaning

Suddenly the snowflakes that fall have a meaning

Sprinklin' the scene, makes it all clean

Maybe there's a chance for me to go back there

Now that I have some direction

It would sure be nice to be back home

Where there's love and affection

And just maybe I can convince time to slow up

Giving me enough time in my life to grow up

Time be my friend, let me start again

Suddenly my world has changed it's face

But I still know where I'm going

I have had my mind spun around in space

And yet I've watched it growing

If you're list'ning God

Please don't make it hard to know

If we should believe in the things that we see

Tell us, should we run away

Should we try and stay

Or would it be better just to let things be?

Living here, in this brand new world

Might be a fantasy

But it taught me to love

So it's real, so real to me

And I've learned

That we must look inside our hearts

To find a world full of love

Like yours

Like mine

Like home...

Somewhere over the Rainbow...

Much love & best wishes to anyone that reads this!

May this be the end of a chapter, and the beginning of a new one...  I have my pot of gold- I had it all along, now I am just enjoying the blessings it bestows me.  

May you find yours. xxx

Hey all

I hope this lil update finds everyone well and smiling. I just wanted to give you a quick lowdown on what's been happening in my crazy life these past couple of months (yes it's been that long- sorry)!

 So anyway, I've had a birthday- & realised I am 30 next year- OH MY GOD! Had a wonderful, wonderful xmas on board the Paradise, & an even better NYE (if possible)! Some of the girls were worried about how our xmas would be so far from home (for the first time for many of the lil darlings), but we kept things fun, partied hard (possibly a few too many all-nighters), spoiled one-another and just generally had a blast as the big happy family we have become.

Yesterday we celebrated Australia day on board, (ok we started Thursday in all truth since that was Aussie Day back home ; )! It was a crazy, awesome night. I took my Vegemite to the crew bar and we had random people trying it! (the photos are great check out my Ringo page soon to view-http://www.ringo.com/profile/miss_melli.html)!- there were TimTams, Wolf Blass (they sell it in the crew bar- yipee), Fosters (it's all we could get!) & 5hrs of true-blue Aussie rock thanks to moi'!!! I am listening the "The Sounds of Then", by Gangajang right now actually (yes as I sit in Mexico : ). Anyway, I am yet to recover but it was well worth it!

Other things that have been occupying me in my magnified existence, are the return of my best friend Mike! - He had not long left to go back to England last time I wrote, after nearly 3mths without him he surprised us with his return a couple of weeks back. The sneaky bugger! I couldn't be happier. Plus Rob the bass player, and general all round unreal guy, has also returned to keep us company till the end of our contracts in April. Speaking of ending this contract- I have been trying to figure out what I would like to do at that point, and think I am finally coming to a firm decision now... As much as I miss Oz and all you guys... I will PROBABLY re-sign here for another 6-mths. THAT WAY I will finish for my birthday and can be home all next summer! If I change ships and go to the Caribbean I will get a break in May/June etc. but will be away untill next year. Soooo will keep you posted on that one. I will still get a minimum of 4-weeks off in May and will pop home for a visit then! YAY!!!!!!!

So in case you haven't guessed, I am still REALLY loving it here. I have been making pretty regular trips to Hollywood in the past couple of months. I love it! L.A is allot like home (ok not the outskirts- certainly not Compton, would you believe some of my casino friends go there to play poker on a regular basis- with some guy called "Big Daddy"! Haha)!!! Anyway I still feel there is loads for me to do here and am def. not ready to go just yet. The next few months are going to be VERY busy, many many more trips to Hollywood, Long Beach Aquarium, loads more $2 movies in Mexico and 'Wasted Wednesdays', a trip to Universal Studios, & another day at Disneyland. - Oh a huge highlight before xmas was the visit of my gorgeous lil sis and her boy Chris! That reminded me as we went to Fox Studios Mexico which was pretty cool- I saw the cars and costumes used in Romeo and Juliet, which was a highlight for me (stuff 'Titanic' being filmed there)!!! Anyway we had such a blast, and it was so special having Ems sail with me. She loved the shows and I felt really proud dancing for her. We had one very crazy night in Ensenada dancing on the bar at Los Amigos with my Aussie friends Leigh & Stephie! Good times... Now I get to look forward to my mum & Gran visiting for a few days in March- I can't wait! (Not sure they will appreciate Los Amigos as much as we do tho ; )!

Ok kids I must wind it up. The sun is setting, I have turned into somewhat of a zombie, and I need to do the show- 'Hollywood' (twice!) in just a few hrs. Remember to think & dream big. I was preparing for the shows just the other night and was out on deck in the dark night and made a wish. Just as I did I saw a shooting star fly past the moon. It was so beautiful- & between you and I... the wish came true! Don't be afraid to ask for what you want.

Love'n light to you all

xxx

Well hello kids

It has been too long, and trying to find the time to actually sit and think about the fun, good times, hard times, crazy times I am experiencing is still proving very difficult. Sooooooo today I write to you from Mexico, the lovely Ensenada to be more precise. And I use the word lovely VERY loosley!!!

Today is what we usually refer to as 'Wasted Wednesday' and the only way I am wasting it is by not getting wasted with everyone else! Since I last wrote we have made possibly the dodgiest bar in town-Los Amigos- our local and they are throwing the crew ANOTHER party today (as they seem to do quite regularly of late- I can only imagine the amount of business they get from us, so can see why). But anyway, none of the crazy shenanigans that usually occur will involve me today as I have to take Dance Class with the guests back on board in a couple of hours! That's right, I did seriously consider going for a couple of Tequila's and cocktails, but I know only too well that it never ends there. I wil just have to join the fun in crew bar later.

So how goes everyone? I have been really well, really tired, really happy and really emotional! A long time between my Blogging I know. Is kind of silly as I have folder full of writing on this baby, a journal, and a notebook that reads like a journal! Hhhhmmm.... Anyway.

So this blog is about chasing rainbows, and take that as you may it was never to be so much about my physical journey as my Personal (spiritual) one. It has been so much more than what you can imagine being here. The friendships and bonds I have formed have opened up a whole new network of love and support, things I have never been short of but things I myself once believed I am not so much in need of (like so many now days). One of the lines that rings in my head allot here is that "no man (or woman : ) is an island." Too true.....

The magnification of everything on board makes life so intense, and being as intense as I am already it is quite the experience. Since I last wrote I have had so many wonderful experiences, but mostly have been appreciating the deep bonds I have formed with my new family. I am finding it to be a strange yet beautiful thing to be sharing such a prominent part of my life with so many others, while they do the same. Everyone here has their story and due to our close proximity you tend to know a HUGE amount about everyone, where they have come from, and what they are presently going through. It is utterly fascinating and extremely therapeutic. There is no-where to hide here, and no real point in trying. You see people's strength and vulnerabilities, and it highlights your own. This can only be a good thing.

On a lighter note.... I have done many, many fun and crazy things in the past month- and still managed to do my job (that is 10 shows a week plus a few random duties) to a reasonably high standard (even if I do say so myself ; )- pat on the back for me! I have been boating in Catalina- yes me driving a real boat- watch out (I have no idea why the guests I offered a ride to didn't want to join me ; )!!!! Kayaking while watching possibly the dumbest seal in the world (trying to jump up onto a rock that it had clearly positioned itself on long before the tide went out- sooooo funny), there have been too many all-nighters and a couple of big  farewells- one involving us dropping lil parachute men into the atrium from deck 12 to deck 7- just to see who could stay airbourne the longest! Then staying up to watch the ship dock at Long Beach at sunrise- absolutely beautiful, then straight to imigration at 6am! Good times... I have had a couple of lovely big breakfasts at the Queen Mary which is permanently docked with us in Long Beach. And a personal highlight occurred a couple of weeks ago when I was up on Deck 10 relaxing on a sunbed late in the afternoon and the Calypso band just started playing Land Downunder for me- it's the small things you know... Then there was one particularly crazy 'Wasted Wednesday' where we had an Entertainment Dept dinner that ended at a strip club! - but not before the making of one VERY funny Ensenada doco that has footage of the local one-armed dancing man and the chickelada (I have NO idea how to spell it) children- who I thought wise to lecture on their business tactics, somehow I don't think I made much of an impact!!!

More recently, we had a gorgeous dinner last Wednesday at Punta Morro (once again no idea how to spell)! It is a stunning restaurant set over the rocks on the other side of Ensenada. A group of us went to farewell our fabulous friend Michael on his last 'Wasted Wednesday', and it was amazing. We watched the sun set over the rocks with waves crashing below, while sharing a few bottles of wine and loads of laughs. A couple of seals even made an appearance for us- tho we would've much preferred dolphins! Hehe- saw my first one here last Sat while in the gym! YAY- finally!!!

Last Sunday saw us saying farewell to Michael- who we miss immensely. We had quite the faewell at crew bar in our Halloween costumes (there has been a whole month of it, it is now officially over and I might write about it once I recover)! There are some VERY amusing, yet questionable photos floating around so I shall try and get my hands on those sometime soon. Chocolate cake anyone!!!   Mike will HOPEFULLY come back to the orchestra in the New Year- fingers crossed!!! ; ).

Well kids that kind of sums up everything I can think of for now. I really hope this finds you all happy, focussed, relaxed and loving whatever it is you are doing- and if not dreaming of how you can change it. That was me, now I am sitting in a cafe in Mexico looking out at my ship (yes it is mine, hehe ; ), drinking far too much coffee, watching the sun set and wondering what the next few weeks in "Paradise" will bring.....

Be well,

Big love

Rainbow x

PS check out (some of) my (many) photos at-http://www.ringo.com/explore/member/album.html?albumId=40478092&page=1

Am planning to add many, many more soon. Good times....

Well it has not been an easy task but I have finally pieced together some writing I have been meaning to post for the past 6 weeks! That's right I have been here for almost 6 weeks. It feels like it too, but most importantly it feels like my home...

I am writing from my laptop in my lil home (cabin : ) on the MS Paradise in the dancers corridor which I have very appropriately renamed the "horridor". There is no rest for the wicked in this place! The new golf pro was just introduced to us, and the warning was to stay well away from the dancers corridor! Hehe. I have not long got back from the crew bar to find my young dancing friends with all of their doors open, in their PJs imitating flashdance down the "horridor" while 2 of the officers watch on! (the officers have taken an extra special liking to the new dance cast, I am staying well away from it all- we have been well warned!... tho I did go to one of their parties a couple of weeks ago and it was hands down the craziest party I have been to and I have been to my fair share of well out there parties- I took photos for evidence)!!!

We have now opened all 3 shows so rehearsals are finished! No more 16hr long days without a moment to spare! I am so happy at the moment. We have been getting off in Ensenada Mexico, and tho not the most gorgeous place, it is loads of fun. Papas & Beers is the place to be (check out some photos in the new Paradise Album), and when I am not there I go to a hotel called St Nicholas to swim, sunbake, eat mexican and drink cocktails! They also do massages behind the waterfall which I will def. be getting next time I am there! Other than that, not much to report! It is now Tuesday afternoon & I had a crazy night of drinking red wine with my Aussie friends Ben & Steph & one of the muso's Michael, after the shows. We ended up at Darion from the Calypso band's cabin till about 5am, as it is his birthday today! He sang us some original reggae, including one about 9/11- yesterday was a extra tough day for some of the people here...

It is amazing how unbelievably talented everyone here seems to be tho, Darion is the third person this week to play quality original tunes for us, and my friend Michael has been moonlighting on the piano on the Boulevard whenever we pass by on the way to the disco (in fact Sat night we never even made it inside as we gathered such a crowd- guests were buying drinks for us to thank us, was SUCH a blast)!

Anyway, I must go, call for tonight's shows is in a few hours and I need to do weights, hit the steam room and have some sustenance first.

I will write more soon I promise, in the meantime check out the notes below that I wrote earlier in my contract and also check out Bens Blog.... - esp. juggling and self esteem- http://www.ben-lee.com/blog.htm

Love the guy (it's his birthday today yay- will no doubt have a drink for him at tonight's crew party ; )!!!

...... also post me a note, I miss you all lots and would love to hear what you've been up to. I will be posting more fun, wicked and hot photos soon so check back.

Much love from Paradise

Rainbow xoxo

..........................

Life is so surreal at times, when I think back to a week and a half ago I had a COMPLETELY different existence to the one I am experiencing now. Both good, in fact both great but just sooooo different. I am writing this blog from my cabin on the MS Paradise, today is a sea day, so am guessing we are off the California coast somewhere but you can't see land so who knows)?!!! We have an hr before we are due back at rehearsals.- we have already done 2 hrs this morning.... My roommate and I are resting as there is barely a moment to yourself in this place!` I absolutely love it here tho. The girls in the old cast (all are leaving after 4-5yr stints) claim that you know within the first 2-weeks whether life on a ship is for you, and tho I don't want to speak too soon- if that is true then I have to say it is definitely for me. It is Sooooo much fun. Life is manic, crazy, exhausting, we are all delirious and a couple of the girls are at each others throats already! We can't believe we have only been here just over a week- feels like a month- seriously!

I just adore our cast, there are 9 new girls (1 dance captain from the old cast), & 2 new guys (2 Mexicans in the old cast). have 2 fab aussie friends- one from Bris Vegas whom I room with- there are also 5 English gals (all look like footballers wives is hilarious, -boys you will want to see photos), 2 russians (they're an adage couple that were in a russian circus- UNBELIEVABLE), 1 south african, & an Irish and 2 American singers! I am the Nana out of the female dancers- it is the youngest cast they have EVER put together- typical!!! They are all 18-22- mostly 19 tho and therefor only allowed to drink at sea hehe (have to be 21 in the States remember)!!! From day 1 life here has literally been breathtaking, the ship is just gorgeous there are 12 decks and everything under the sun you could want (ok no climbing wall- yet- Royal Caribbean have one tho, jealous). Some surreal moments in our first couple of days were seeing the sunrise over Ensenada on day 1 (jetlag; ) a small group of us rehearsing on the mini golf course at sunrise on day 2- in the middle of the ocean! Looking out the windows of the stunning Normandie Lounge (where we perform the shows) during rehearsals and either seeing just water as far as the eye can see or heaps of boats (when we are docked in port), yes we are constantly rocking too- is just lovely for falling asleep! I can't even put into words how bizarre it is. And I certainly can't put into words how lucky I feel to be doing this...

The shows are really amazing- by anyones standards, they are even better that I was expecting and my cast is exceptional so it really will be something when we open the shows in about 2 weeks. We have made heaps of friends outside the dance cast too and all of them are keen to know when we take over so they can come and watch (might have something to do with the fact that these girls are seriously hot, hhhmmm)! Anyway, the piano man- yes there is a piano bar just like Minskys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND the piano man- Trevor- is Australian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! I feel so at home! ; ) We called in there the other night in between shows and he played Land Downunder and Waltzing Matilda for us- the Americans were fascinated and my snotty English friends were jealous that they don't have a London song! Hehe the banter between us all is classic- don't think it'll ever get old!

Anyway, that's about it from me for now- need to get back upstairs to the theatre, we are rehearsing with the revolving stage & props this afternoon- you try doing can-can kicks on a revolving stage between perspex boxes (which we have just danced on, my legs are covered in bruises)!!!! An image to leave you with- walking out onto Lido deck late afternoon, the sunbeds are packed kids are going nuts on the waterslide and the Calypso band is killing it on the outdoor stage, people are dancing, guys are playing basketball & waiters are serving cocktails- I may not have time to lap it up yet, but I am not so delirious I can't appreciate it.

Life is so good.

Take care all

Much love from the high-seas

Mellie xoxo

As I often do I stole this title from one of my favourite artists- Jewel.  The inspiration for which I actually found on another Blog!  I read the words below on someone else's Blog a couple of days ago- I occasionally look at Random Blogs and think I will do so more often.  People are so very interesting!

"The only things in life you regret, are the risks you dont take."

(You will never know true happiness untill you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is untill you have lost it)...

These words have been those I have lived by for the past 8 or so years, tho I think it has taken me the full 8-years to live them fully. The reason I share them now is because it pains me to so often see my friends and those I love not have the confidence to take risks. Aren't we all learning how short life is???

The risks I refer to are both on a personal level and on a professional level. That's not to say all the risks I have taken have paid off, but the pain of not having made them would be far worse. - As I had to learn the hard way...

Anyway, we all have different lessons to learn, and maybe this was one of mine, and is not so relevant to others.

So on an everyday note... The time has finally come, the dates are set, the contracts are signed and I am leaving this wonderful country I love so much. Am finally throwing caution to the wind and leaving my future open- starting in Long Beach, California!  Is all very exciting, I wonder where I will be this time in 2-years...?  - If you had told me 3-years ago that I would be doing this (squeezing my life into one big pink suitcase to dance on a cruise ship), I wouldn't have believed you!

How good, and what a roller-coaster ride has the Soccer World Cup been?! Those early, and very early mornings were more than worth it, massive shame about how it all panned out tho... As for our beloved State of Origin...  Was there ever any doubt?  The better team certainly took it out this year!!! GO QUEENSLAND! 

Other than that I have been immensely enjoying sharing my time here with both old and new friends, esp. my very special friend Gleny. Another friend, the gorgeous and lovely Corinna has now left to go back to the craziness of her hometown Berlin! She was up with us watching the Australia games as though it were her own country she was supporting. Now it seems Germany is out too : (  Enjoy the madness anyway- we miss you already Schlumpfina! (Really)!!!

And on that note... take care, take risks, love and be loved and live and dream BIG! (What's the worst can happen! : )

Much love

xxox